


Manor of Sleeping Tattoos

by twilightscribe



Category: Death Note, Zero: Shisei no Koe | Fatal Frame III: The Tormented
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Crossover, Horror Elements, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-21
Updated: 2011-08-25
Packaged: 2017-10-20 14:45:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 13,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/213898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twilightscribe/pseuds/twilightscribe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The dream is always the same. He follows him deeper and deeper into the manor, even though he knows that it's going to trap him in this nightmare forever. L/Light ; Light centric ; crossover with Fatal Frame</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Loss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Words:** 2240 words  
>  **Beta:** [elliott ashes](http://www.fanfiction.net/~elliottashes)

When he dreams, it's snowing. It's as though someone is there in the sky shaking out the entire contents of a hole-punch; he's never seen so much snow before in his life. Reaching out a hand, he catches a few of the fluffy flakes on his hand and watches as they melt.

Everything seems so real, he isn't sure if this is really just a dream. The cool air, the snow, it all seems so vivid.

Maybe this is what it means to be dead – or not, he can't be dead – but his dreams are never so vivd. He can feel everything, it feels as though he is standing out in the snow. But that can't be because it isn't winter now and he was inside, he hasn't been outside for weeks now. If this is a dream, he wishes that he wouldn't ever wake up – the real world is far too painful.

Light knows. He doesn't want to go back.

The world outside of his dreams is far too painful and lonely. He would rather stay here, in this strange dream of his.

Glancing up, a manor looms into the sky. Nearby are small shrines dotted with lit candles that offer up a small amount of light. The snow is falling and piling up in drifts, but the path leading towards the manor's gates is clear.

It feels as though it is calling to him.

His legs carry him forward, walking towards the gate. If he goes into the manor, maybe he can find what he's looking for.

– – –

His father watches him closely. Light feels his eyes boring into his back as they make preparations, but he says nothing. He feels a small amount of gratitude for it.

The others remain quiet. He finds some peace in the quiet, but it hurts him too.

Certain sounds he misses, certain actions, the weight of handcuffs around his wrists... it makes his heart ache when he thinks about what he's lost.

It makes the strange gaps in his memory feel insignificant.

What does it matter if he was Kira? What matters most to him is gone now.

– – –

Under his hands, the gates open with a soft creak. The manor has an abandoned feel to it, but the walkway is clear and the candles outside had been lit... the entrance hall doesn't seem to be too neglected. The walls aren't falling apart.

The hair on the back of his neck stands on end. Something about this place doesn't feel right, but he can't put his finger on what that is.

He can hear the rustle of what might be leaves in the wind, the sound of the house creaking in it. Light doesn't know where he is still, but it doesn't seem to bother him.

As he takes his first step, he sees a familiar silhouette at the corner.

“Ryuuzaki...?”

The person disappears around the corner, walking away. He calls out to them again but gets no answer.

His feet are moving before he can think of the consequences. All he knows is that it's him, that he has to follow him because there's so much that he hasn't said, so much that he needs to...

He needs to tell him how sorry he is.

– – –

The funeral is approaching quickly. Light can feel his stomach twisting painfully inside of him, but he says nothing. He can tell the others are worried about him, but he doesn't want them to say anything. If he hears them ask if he's alright, he doesn't think he'll be able to hold it together.

He isn't alright. He doesn't think that he ever will be.

The days seem to trickle by slowly; the hours drag on and each minute – each second – seems to last for a painful eternity.

It feels like his heart died that day.

– – –

The dream doesn't stop.

Each night he finds himself in that manor, the snow falling and the night peaceful and beautiful. The candles and lanterns flicker and illuminate the exterior, giving it a strange appearance. He feels the same strange draw to it that he always does.

He wonders if he's the only one who dreams of it. Do the others see it too? Or is he alone?

It's easier to call out to him now – each time he sees him in the manor, he follows him. But he never seems to be able to catch up. All he catches are glimpses of the other disappearing down this hallway or around this corner, and each time he thinks he'll be able to reach him, hand stretched out in front of him as though he can touch him.

But his hands never do catch him, all he can grasp at is air. His heart aches.

“Where are you?” he asks the silence. “Please... wait for me.”

– – –

Eventually, Misa comes to see him. The others all give her looks, knowing that the littlest thing could possibly set the brunette off. They're worried about him too, but they fear pushing him more than that. If they push too hard, he might snap and never recover.

He can't seem to get any rest; the dreams suck out his energy.

“Light should come on a date with me!”

The look he gives her could curdle milk; he doesn't have time for that sort of trivial stupidity, can't she see that? Is she so blind that she can't see that he doesn't care?

Ignoring her seems like the best solution. Light turns away from her and focuses on the documents in front of him.

His eyes are burning, but he refuses to let the tears fall. He can't show weakness; he isn't allowed to mourn. Not when it's his fault. He would blame Misa, but he feels more guilt than he does anger towards her; this is his fault, he feels.

She grabs his arm, “You need to relax Light! We'll catch Kira eventually and we'll make him pay!”

Jerking his arm out of her grip, he glares at her before storming away. He needs time alone. He heads for the stairs, tells Misa not to follow him.

She yells at him, calls him names, tells him she hates him.

He doesn't care and ignores it. Misa was never the one.

– – –

That night, when he dreams, he finds himself walking down a hallway and into one of the many rooms. It's full of boxes of kimonos and a chest of old papers and accessories. At first he thinks there's nothing of interest there, but then something catches his attention out of the corner of his eyes.

For a moment, he sees a flash of pale skin and dark hair but it's gone in an instant. Instead, he spies an old camera lying in a discarded pile of papers in the corner. Taking it into his hands, he examines it closely; there are words carved into a part of it.

_Camera Obscura._

Even though he doesn't know what it means, he still takes it with him. It seems like it might be important.

– – –

The others have started to notice how tired he is. There are dark circles forming under his eyes and he's finding it more difficult to get out of bed. He isn't sure why that is, but he thinks that it might have something to do with the dreams.

Light can still smell him in the sheets.

He doesn't want to lose that.

It's when he's alone, in the early hours of the morning when no one is around, that he lets himself cry. The pain is too much and it's threatening to tear him apart.

But he keeps up a strong front in front of everyone else, makes sure that they don't know his pain. Instead, he focuses on the case, driving them to keep looking, that there must be a clue somewhere that they overlooked. They'll find it eventually, they will solve this case.

Even if it kills him.

– – –

For the first time in his dreams of the manor, he sees someone.

They're not alive.

At least, he doesn't think they are.

They keep asking him questions, _“Have you seen him? Where is he?”_

He doesn't know the answer, he runs but suddenly the woman is in front of him, reaching for him and he can feel this burning pain in his chest.

The camera's filament glows, it seems to be telling him to use it.

When he snaps the picture of the woman, she recoils as though he shot her. It doesn't make sense but then she's behind him and lunging at him again so he takes another picture and another.

She disappears after that. The headache that her presence gave him ebbs away to nothing.

The manor seems more threatening now, but he knows that he can't turn away. He can still see him, lurking at the end of the next hallway.

“Ryuuzaki! Wait!”

It's like a game of cat and mouse; he's chasing and chasing him, but no matter how hard he tries, he can never catch him.

– – –

Since it feels as though the case has stalled, Light takes some time to do a little research of his own. His curiosity has been piqued and he feels that maybe the answers lie somewhere and he just needs to find them.

Maybe he can find what it means when he sees that manner in his sleep. It _**has**_ to mean something, because everything has a meaning; sometimes you just have to look for it.

Unfortunately, he has no real place to start with the manor, so he turns instead to the old camera that he found; the Camera Obscura.

He finds some interesting articles; it's a camera that supposedly can capture the “Other World,” it can capture things that normally can't be detected by the naked eye. It can reveal spirits and ghosts. According to several of the occult websites he finds, it was made by a man named Kunihiko Asou – probably in the late nineteenth or earlier twentieth centuries.

They're rare these days, the articles tell him, however many there were, few still remain. They're a highly valued collectors item.

He still doesn't understand why it's in his dream.

– – –

The Camera Obscura is his only weapon, his only defence against these spirits. He realizes that the filament glows whenever one is near.

He's still following the other deeper and deeper into the manor.

The real world seems so far away, it doesn't matter as much as it did before. What matters is that he's here and there's the chance that he can find him.

“Stay with me.”

– – –

Still no clues to point them in the direction of Kira; the funeral is only hours away.

His chest feels like it's on fire, his eyes are burning but he lets none of this show. He has to be strong, that would be what Ryuuzaki – L – would want.

It has to be him who catches Kira.

Now, it doesn't matter if it is him; he would gladly throw himself off the building if it were. That would make the pain stop. He knows it's selfish and his family would be broken, but he's finding it harder and harder to care; he just wants the pain to stop.

Even Light knows that he's treading on thin ice; one wrong move and he'll snap. The burden on him is getting heavier as time ticks by.

_“I don't want to see any longer.”_

– – –

The tattooed woman appears in his dreams.

Like the first woman he encountered, she is pale and has an ethereal feel to her. When he sees her, his head hurts terribly and he fights down the urge to vomit. Something about her is wrong – worse than the woman from before. The aura around her is heavy and full of pain and suffering and sadness. She is covered in a myriad of dark blue tattoos.

Seeing her makes the pain in his chest worse.

Slowly, she comes towards him, he fumbles with the camera and nearly drops it as he backs away. Eventually he just turns and runs.

But he can feel her coming after him, he knows that he can't escape.

Her fingers brush against the back of his neck; they're cold and clammy and make his skin crawl in response.

Pain blossoms from where her fingers touch.

He crashes through the gates of the manor, desperate to escape from her.

– – –

They haven't turned up any new clues and the dreams haven't stopped. Light keeps looking into them, branching out from the camera to see if he can find any connection to the manor that he always dreams of – the manor where L is.

He woke up the night after the dream with the woman to immense pain. It blossomed across the back of his neck and it felt as though the skin was on fire.

When he glances in the mirror, he can see the fading image of a tattoo emblazoned across the flesh.

He's afraid to know what it means.

But he's found the clue he needs to learn of the manor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fatal Frame III: The Tormented actually takes place in 1988, but... for the sake of this story, we're just going to say that it took place more recently than that. As well, this fic goes with Light not recovering his memories after the Yotsuba arc and Misa may or may have not recovered hers (it's ambiguous, you can decide on whichever scenario you like) but Rem did kill L in order to protect Misa.


	2. Tattoos

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Words:** 1401 words  
>  **Beta:** [elliott ashes](http://www.fanfiction.net/~elliottashes)  
> 

No one else can see the tattoo, only him. It's always most vivid when he awakens from his dreams, now panting and covered in a thin layer of sweat and on the verge of a panic attack.

When he looks at it in the mirror, it's a vivid shade of purplish-blue, fading to a light violet around the edges. By the time he's more awake and dressed, it's gone and he can't see it. But each morning that he wakes, it seems to spread and burn with more pain than the day before.

He doesn't know what it means, but he knows that it cannot be good.

– – –

Misa's eyes bore into his back. He can't help but wonder if she can see the tattoo.

He tells himself that it's nonsense and turns back to his research. There are records of what hospitals call 'lost patients.'

Their tales ring eerily true to him.

_“... see the same dream... wandering into a large manor... deep in the manor, one discovers their dearly departed... hearing a lullaby... a growing blue bruise or snake-like tattoo... time spent in sleep also slowly increases...”_

He hasn't heard the song yet, but the tattoo on his back that is slowly growing is bruise-like in appearance.

Will he disappear soon too?

– – –

The funeral was three days ago. It still doesn't feel real to him. He still feels like if he closes his eyes and opens them, that he'll be there telling him to stop being lazy and to get out of bed. Or if he glances over he'll see him next to him, working away or nibbling at a piece of cake.

It hurts more than he cares to admit.

He is almost constantly surrounded by reminders of the other. It hurts. Far more than he would care to admit.

_Why does it hurt?_

He wishes that it would stop.

– – –

He hears the song. It's very faint and sounds as though it's being sung by young girls. As he wanders further into the manor, seeing Ryuuzaki out of the corner of his eyes, he finds clues towards where he is and what is happening.

A few notes and journals lie about; some of them seem to be newer than others. They seem like they were left by others who had wandered the manor.

Some of them seem to degrade over time, in terms of the author's sanity.

_“I didn't deserve to survive... should have been me... shouldn't have... didn't want to! I'm sorry... don't... please... wake me up...”_

It doesn't bode well.

Light has mixed feelings about it; part of him hopes that he won't become like them, losing himself until there is nothing left, while the other half of him wants nothing more than to find Ryuuzaki and join him.

He's afraid. Both of what he will find and what awaits him.

Death doesn't seem so frightening now.

– – –

Light isn't an artist, but he feels compelled to sketch out the tattoo that is etched across his back. It's gradually dipping lower down his spine and spreading across his back and shoulders. He scratches out the pattern onto a piece of paper, tracing it over with the colours after.

He debates about whether or not he should sketch the manor too. Or the tattooed woman.

But he still is a horrible artist, he doubts that he could do them justice.

He wishes that L was still there, he would have answers for him. Or tell him that they would find an answer to this mystery, together; that they would solve it.

Light hates being reminded of what he's lost.

– – –

There are voices now.

_“Daddy fell. I'm sorry. He fell down. He wouldn't get up. I'm sorry mommy.”_

He can hear other whispers too; mentioning things like sacrifices, that more was needed, that more blood was needed. None of it makes sense.

Someone keeps speaking of a priestess, one who cannot awaken or something terrible will happen. Their voice is soft and muted, but it's female; that's all he knows.

Light wonders if they mean that tattooed woman.

– – –

He's sleeping more than usual, his father says nothing about it but Light knows he's worried. His father recommends that he speak to someone about this, that he see a therapist because what he's doing can't possibly be healthy.

Light knows that he's only trying to help, but he doesn't want him to.

It's easier to deal with the pain if he's sleeping. The manor is there as always and he's there too – he'll keep following him until he figures out what is happening in that strange, snow-covered manor.

Or until he dies.

– – –

At home, it's a little easier to live with the pain. But he hasn't been there for so long that everything seems foreign to him; it's as though he's an alien. This isn't his life, the person he sees in the photos isn't him – how can that person look so happy when inside Light feels as though he's been torn apart?

He wishes that he was still alive.

Light doesn't want to be here anymore.

– – –

_“Sleep priestess, lie in peace... sleep priestess, lie in peace... if you cry, the boat you'll ride, the last trip to the other side... once you get there, sacred marks you'll bear... they shall be peeled off, should you fail to lie still...”_

The words echo in his head. No matter how hard he tries, they will not leave him alone.

He writes them down, right underneath the sketch of the tattoo that is slowly covering his entire back. Light still doesn't know what the manor is, but he's still looking.

Eventually, he'll figure it out; he has to.

– – –

After several nights, he's found himself deeper in the manor; he's stopped waking up in the entrance of it. He's deeper in the manor, still following Ryuuzaki in deeper, slowly unwinding the tangled tale of what unfolded here.

The spirits still attack him, crying different things out as they do.

Each time, he defeats them with the Camera Obscura; they leave behind pictures, revealing tantalizing clues about their identity.

He sees little girls dressed in red and white, singing that song that will not leave his head. Each of them holds a mallet and a stake in one hand. He wonders what they could be for.

Something, though, tells him that they're important, that they are to be feared. He avoids them as best he can.

But their voices haunt him, even when he's awake. They're calling to him.

– – –

Sayu catches him singing the song one day. She asks him where he heard it.

“In my dreams.”

It's the first thing he's said in four days. Light thinks that he should have said something else, Sayu gives him this sad worried look. He knows she's worried about him, knows that he's changed, but she says nothing and just looks at him with that same sad look in her eyes – his mother is the same.

His father won't let him back on the case, saying that it's closed and Kira has been stopped. Life is slowly returning to normal for their family.

Light thinks that it came at too high of a price.

– – –

His mother confines him to bed, she's convinced he's ill and that is why he has been sleeping so much. She knows he's grieving but has no idea over what. But she leaves him to it, tidies his room and brings in fresh flowers each day to bring some colour and life into it.

Light doesn't notice them, he's spending more time sleeping. He's awake only for a few hours at a time now, only leaving bed to check his research, see if anything new has turned up.

The tattoo keeps spreading, winding its way across his flesh like a snake. It looks like one too.

The indigo ink stands out vividly on his pale skin; he traces out the new elements onto the sketch he made. Each new development makes his heart thud.

He still is dreaming of the manor. And of L.

Each night he chases after the detective, praying and hoping that soon he will catch hold of him.


	3. Sleeping Priestess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Words:** 1198 words  
>  **Beta:** [elliott ashes](http://www.fanfiction.net/~elliottashes)  
> 

With each passing night, Light finds himself wandering further and further into the manor. The entire place is like a maze and sometimes he realizes that he's back-tracking and has been going in a circle for what seems like hours. The halls are serpentine and winding, with dead ends and multiple doors leading into rooms or into other long hallways.

There's moonlight, strangely, filtering in through the windows.

He's still alone, he feels, but he keeps thinking that he sees someone else in the manor – a woman – but she seems alive. Maybe she shares his fate.

Light thought about trying to follow her, but then he spots him again and he can't resist chasing after him. So he's travelling deeper and deeper into the manor, unravelling the mysteries as he goes. If this is his last act, then he will solve it.

Even if it consumes him.

– – –

Waking up is getting more and more difficult; it's as though he's clawing his way out of a well or some sort of cocoon. He doesn't want to wake up, he feels like he's slowly figuring out what's going on in this manor and every hour he spends awake takes away from the riddle it presents.

It's a distraction, it keeps him from focusing on what he's lost; it keeps the pain at bay, at least for a little while.

When he wakes up, there's a small notebook sitting on his desk that wasn't there before. A post-it note is stuck to the cover in his sister's writing.

' _You left your computer on last night. I thought this would help._ '

Inside the notebook is a series of detailed notes about the cases of 'lost patients' and of this manor he always dreams of. Sayu had actually gone out and done research for him; it's a touching gesture and it causes a lump to form in Light's throat.

His sister really does love him.

– – –

That night is a little different. He's still in the manor, he knows this much, but it somehow seems different.

The area he wakes in is different. His body refuses to move; all he can do is blink and glance around. It's an unfamiliar room, one that he doesn't recognize, but he's sure that it's in the manor and that it's important.

When he looks down, Light realizes that he's dressed in white and blue.

It doesn't feel like his body.

– – –

Light can't remember the last time he ate. He doesn't really feel very hungry anymore and he's hardly awake so he doesn't think that it matters too much.

His mother is worried about him; she thinks it's some sort of illness that he caught and that's why he spends so much time upstairs sleeping. Sayu seems to have an idea of what's happening to him, but it hurts her too much and she says nothing – their parents wouldn't believe her anyway. His father thinks that it's simply the grief, eventually Light will be fine.

And Light chooses not to say anything. He's afraid that if he does, they'll be dragged into this too.

This is his burden and his mystery. He has to solve it, in order to protect his family and because it's eating away at him.

Maybe if he solves it, he'll be able to see him again.

_Let me say I'm sorry. Let me see you again._

– – –

What Sayu's research tells him is interesting and it helps. Mostly it's tied up in urban legends and old folklore. Nothing inside of it is particularly helpful towards unravelling the mysteries of the manor itself, but they give him some clues.

The song that he hears echoing through the house is called 'The Sleeping Priestess.' He hums the lyrics, he knows the tune of them too well, it's carved into his memory. But he can't find anything about it, no matter how hard he searches.

It seems to have a deep connection to the manor, if only he could figure out what that was.

Maybe the 'sleeping priestess' is the woman he sees walking through the manor, covered in tattoos. She wanders through the halls as though she's trapped in a dream, her eyes empty and unseeing. Her touch gave him the tattoo.

Light can't help but notice that it's winding around his hips, like a snake.

– – –

He spends his few waking hours flipping through the notes that Sayu brought him; he thinks that she would make a very good researcher one day. Maybe she would be a writer.

Whatever the case is, he hopes that her life doesn't take the same route that his did. He wants her to be happy.

Light doesn't know if he has it in him to be happy anymore; his smiles are faker than ever before and it feels as though a part of him has been stripped away.

He wonders: Why does love have to hurt so much?

– – –

The manor he finds himself in each night is known as the 'Manor of Sleep' according to the urban legend that it's a part of. He's dreaming of it because of grief, because of his feelings.

And he followed the one he had loved and lost in. There is no way out for him. But if he keeps following him, keeps trying to piece together what happened and what secret was contained within the manor, than maybe he can meet him.

He's already been having the same dream for weeks now and he has dreamt of the manor. If he had a proper map, than maybe he could figure out just how deeply he's penetrated into it, but he knows that he's at least at the fifth stage of the so-called 'illness' that accompanies the manor.

The tattoo is taking more shape, beyond the dark bruise that it had appeared to be before. Now it has a shape and an image to it that's recognizable.

It's a tattoo of snake and holly. There must be some significance to that and maybe he can find out.

All that's left is to wander further into the manor.

– – –

The Camera Obscura has no effect on the tattooed woman – the priestess, Light tells himself – she simply teleports closer and reaches out for him.

Now, though, the dreams are a little different; it just isn't the manor he dreams of any more. Sometimes he just dreams of the manor, of exploring it further and finding diaries and notes left by who he assumes are its former inhabitants.

They tell a worrying and interesting tale. One of a priestess engraved with the pain of others who sleeps in a shrine for an eternity. Each tome or diary he picks up adds a little more to his knowledge of the sorts of rituals that went on in this manor.

On the nights where he doesn't dream of the manor, he finds himself in what feels like a prison. It isn't his body, he feels, but there's this strange feeling of connection. He isn't sure what it means.

But he wants to find out.


	4. Reenactment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Words:** 2650 words  
>  **Beta:** [elliott ashes](http://www.fanfiction.net/~elliottashes)  
> 

This time when he wakes in the dream, he's able to sit up and look around. As always he finds himself dressed in blue and white, what he now knows is the traditional garb of the priestess – the Tattooed Priestess – of the shrine.

It's the first time that he's been able to control himself in these dreams; before this he could only lie in his prison and glance around. The body he had occupied was not his own, it had been a female one now that he thinks about it.

But now... this body is his. He doesn't know what any of this means.

It feels as though something is being shown to him, something important. At this moment he might not know what this means, but perhaps it will make more sense down the road. Possibly it's a clue for what needs to be done to end this.

He hopes that's true. He wants to see him again.

– – –

The cage that he finds himself in is made of wood and is suspended above an altar of some sort. From what he can see, the cage can be raised or lowered which means that there has to be some sort of mechanism to do so.

Beneath him in the altar room, there's a young girl – he can't make out any details of her appearance or distinguish her age – dressed in white and red. She's writing something down into a diary of some sort; it's blue and it looks familiar. Light wonders if she's one of the handmaidens that he has read about.

She's singing softly and Light finds the song relaxing at it leaves her lips. He leans against the back of the cage and lets his eyes close.

_“Sleep, priestess, lie in peace... sleep, priestess, lie in peace... if the priestess wakes from her dream... perform the rite of stakes, her limbs pinned tight... lest the doors open wide and suffering unleashed on all...”_

– – –

Sometimes there's more than one girl in the altar below his prison. They speak in hushed whispers and exchange a few items. One of them brings food most of the time.

Light watches them, wondering if he should say something. He never feels hungry, but this is a dream so that is understandable. Still, for whatever reason, when he is offered food, he eats it in silence and says nothing. He does try to return the small smile that the girl gives him when she brings him his meals.

Her face is soft and there's something kind about her. She says that her name is Amane.

It sounds familiar – wasn't that one of the handmaidens' names?

– – –

Amane makes an effort to speak with him. Light doesn't know what to say, but she seems to know him in some way. He can't be sure what it means.

In return, he feels a sense of familiarity with her, as though he knows her somehow. But that can't be because she's dead and he's still alive – but the line between this dream world and the real world is becoming thinner and thinner he's finding – but something stirs inside of him.

Light isn't sure what it means; he finds it confusing, but that dull ache in his chest is soothed somewhat when he speaks with her.

She reminds him of Sayu, with her soft-spoken naïveté and innocence. Occasionally she tells him stories of the area, of different stories that her mother told her as she grew up.

“Shigure and the others were adopted into the family,” she tells him one night. “They will serve their duty to the family and the shrine before they are released back into the nearby villages.”

He wants to ask about them, but he can't think of what to say. Nothing seems appropriate.

Amane continues to speak to him softly, “Minamo is looking forward to the ritual the most, she practices every day... Hisame has been busy too and I think that she is worried about Minamo...”

Locking away the names for later analysis, Light listens as Amane quietly talks about the different handmaidens and their personalities. Minamo is the one who always has this look of almost murderous glee on her face as she brings in the food – he isn't sure what the ritual means yet, but his stomach jerks painfully inside of him.

Hisame and Shigure come by less frequently, but Shigure slowly begins to take over Minamo's duties. He thinks that the girl appreciates that, it gives her more time to 'practice.'

He's nervous about what the ritual entails.

– – –

The one time that Amane isn't there, is when Shigure stays with him in her place. She says nothing and simply sits there quietly as he watches her. He feels as though maybe he should say something, but he doesn't know what to say to her.

He's supposed to be carving his sorrow into the mirror which is in his prison with him, but he doesn't know how.

So instead, he settles back against the wall of his prison and waits. Eventually the ritual will take place, and he hopes that the answers he seeks will be found then.

_Why am I having this dream?_

Light can't help but feel a sense of fear growing inside of him and his heart beats heavily in his chest. He feels tired and sluggish.

He wishes that this would end soon. Or that he would wake up.

– – –

Rarely does he get visitors who aren't the four handmaidens. Their duties are to look after his needs and make sure that he is comfortable.

On this night – dream? He can't remember the last time he woke up – though, he gets a visitor.

She is tall and Amane bows to her, referring to her as the head of the family. Light is a little surprised by her appearance; he would have thought that the head of the family would have been male instead of female. He takes it in stride, though, and doesn't let his surprise show.

“You should prepare yourself, Reika. You will receive your tattoos soon.”

Light says nothing about the unfamiliar name, simply bows his head to her in acknowledgement. She gives him a hard look for a moment before turning away and instructing Amane to watch him closely and to make sure he completes his 'purification' properly.

It doesn't sound reassuring and Light turns his attention back to the mirror. He is supposed to carve his pain into it, but what does that mean?

He is afraid to find out.

– – –

Several nights later and Light has begun to lose track of time. He has no idea how many hours or days have passed him by since he was locked into this dream. All he is certain of is that he is slowly reliving someone's – Reika's – life. It explains the unfamiliar name that he is addressed by, the way he is dressed.

Was this Reika the priestess? Was she the one who marked him with that tattoo? Is she the one who wanders the manor's halls?

Even if he can't be one hundred percent positive, he thinks that he's on the right track with that. But it doesn't explain why he's here, stuck in this strange memory where only Amane recognizes him. Maybe there's something to learn here.

When he sleeps, though, he dreams of Ryuuzaki – L, he isn't sure what name to use any longer – and it's strange. He seems so alive in those dreams, calling for him and reaching out to him. It's a strange reversal of how he remembers things in the waking world.

Sometimes he speaks to Light, but it sounds as though he's speaking through a tube or a tunnel because his voice sounds echoey and distant. Whenever he reaches for him, he wakes up and their fingers miss each other by a few millimetres.

It feels as though his heart is breaking all over again.

– – –

After a while, he gets curious enough to touch the mirror.

For a few seconds, nothing happens, but then in a split second a marking similar to the tattoo which had spread across his body appears on it. As it appears, the pain in his chest lessens.

That yearning to see the other, though, remains.

– – –

Several nights later, Amane takes her seat nearby. There's a slight smile playing about her lips as she does, as though she knows something that he doesn't.

It takes him a few moments before he gathers his courage to ask, “Did something happen?”

Amane shakes her head, “Nothing has changed really. Except for you.”

“You knew I wasn't Reika all this time,” Light replies, moving forward in his cell so that he can get a better look at her. He leans his head against the front of the wooden cage. “How come no one else has noticed?”

Amane shrugs, “I don't know why no one else has noticed. Maybe it's because you have a part of her inside of you.”

“What?”

“A part of Reika is inside of you – that part of her which feels her longing and heartache. This, all of this, you see because the two of you are similar,” Amane explains in a soft voice. “She wanted you to see this, so that you would understand... and maybe to help you.”

“Help me?”

It surprises him just a little that Amane can sound so mature given that she sounded somewhat childish before. But then he remembers that she has been dead since at least the nineteenth century, so technically she is older than him.

Amane nods, “There is someone you want to see again. Just like her.”

“Her?” Light asks with a frown. He wants confirmation, just to be positive and Amane seems willing to give him the answers he's seeking.

“The priestess.” Amane crossed her legs and leaned against the wall of the shrine. “She wanted to see him again, one last time... she always seemed so sad. You have that same sadness about you. Your pain and hers... it's the same.”

Light isn't sure what to say to that, so he stares at his hands, noting how pale they look. He can't remember the last time he actually saw the sun. His pale skin looks a little odd with the white of his clothes and it looks sickly when held against the blue; it's a little unnerving the way that he can see the veins in his hands.

“What does that mean for me?” There's a lump in his throat that he can't quite swallow past and there's a knot of anxiety settling low in his stomach. From what he knows, this cannot bode well.

Just a little below him, Amane looks a little nervous too. But she seems calm and relaxed too which confuses him even further.

“The priestess is hurting... she hurts because she lost her love like you did. In a way, she is sharing her pain with you.” Amane has settled in on the floor, leaning back against it and twining her fingers together as she speaks. “When the ritual commences, you will understand the pain and loss of the priestess. The answers you seek will be found then.”

“Ritual?”

“You have carved your loss into the mirror, the Engravers have been summoned,” Amane replies. “It will begin soon.”

– – –

“Will you tell me?” she asks the next night.

“Tell you what?” Light has been examining the mirror, each time he touches it he finds that the ache in his chest decreases but his yearning to see L again only grows stronger.

“About him.”

Light frowns, “Won't the others overhear?”

She shakes her head, “I tried speaking to them of you and not Reika. They acted as though I said nothing. This is a memory – only you and I are aware of what it actually is, I think.”

That would make sense, Light thinks. The few times which he has spoken to Shigure or Hisame about the upcoming ritual they acted as though he was female and that he knew exactly what the ritual entailed. His questions about it had been ignored.

But Light doesn't know where to start.

“I really... don't know where to start...”

Amane tilts her head to the side a little, “Try the beginning. If you tell me of your love, then I'll tell you a secret. Does that seem fair?”

“I... I didn't really like him when we first met.” The words feel heavy and threaten to stick in his mouth, his throat feels dry and his heart aches just a little. It hurts less now though. “He was so strange – with all sorts of bizarre habits...”

_And I fell in love with each one of them._

– – –

He and Amane form a ritual of sorts; he speaks of L, always as Ryuuzaki, most nights. Light finds that the pain is slowly dulling and it's easier to speak of him. Since it doesn't matter what he tells her or not, Light spills out much of his heart to her.

All Amane gives him is encouragement. She shows nothing but interest in his stories about him, about the investigation, or the world that he comes from. Each time he speaks, she listens closely with a soft smile on her face.

He can't be sure, but he feels that the affection must be clear in his voice.

In exchange, she tells him a couple of stories about the brother she met once and the sister she felt she had in Reika. Amane's words bring to life a sweet but sad tale of doomed love.

Amane loved – still loves – her brother, listened to her mother's stories about him and their father with rapt attention; committing all of it to memory. In life, she only knew him for a short time, but long enough to know that she would do anything in her power to help him.

Even break the code and help him to see the priestess.

– – –

Taking comfort in Amane's visits, Light almost forgets that there is more to this ritual than just the mirror which remains with him. As the nights tick slowly past, the markings on it grow thicker until they cover it entirely.

By then he realizes that the next phase begins.

The head of the family comes to see him once more, she says that the worshippers have been gathering at the shrine for a number of days now and that it is time for the next part of the ritual to begin.

“The ink has been gathered and the Engravers await you, Reika; it is time for you to receive the snake and holly and fulfill your duty.”

Light can only nod his head in resignation; whatever happens next has already been decided and he can only go along with it. It doesn't matter if he wants to do it or not. Reika experienced this and now so will he.

Throughout the halls of the manor, he can hear the song echoing; it's a familiar sound to him now and he takes comfort in it. Whatever happens next, he will have to face and he can only pray that he will be strong enough to endure.

_“Go to the other side... Go to the other side... Cast the boat, take a ride... Cross the rift to the other side... Further and further to the other side... It must sail bearing your tattoos and our offering of tears...”_


	5. Impalement

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Words:** 1577 words  
>  **Beta:** [elliott ashes](http://www.fanfiction.net/~elliottashes)  
> 

Amane and the other handmaidens escort him into what Amane says is the Engraving Shrine. Light can only believe that she is telling him the truth, as he has no other clues as to where they are taking him.

Much to his surprise, though, he does not feel fear about what is to come. All he can feel is a tranquil feeling of calm which pervades him, his secret hope and longing gives him all the strength he needs.

Once they're inside the shrine, Amane and the others help him to disrobe behind the bamboo screens erected around a large stone table. He can't see anyone else in the room with them, but as Hisame and Shigure take his clothing away, Amane guides him to the table and helps him onto it.

Her smile is weak but comforting.

“Are you comfortable?” she murmurs softly. “The Engravers will be here soon.”

Light shifts a little on the table, but he feels fine. The discomfort comes mostly from the fact that the stone is far too cool against his skin and he feels vulnerable lying on it completely bare. But the discomfort is mild. Letting his eyes drift closed, he can see L and just the sight of his face gives him peace.

He nods at her.

With his eyes closed, he misses the small smile on Amane's face, but he notices when she ruffles his hair in a comforting gesture and feels her cool lips against his temple.

However, he does open his eyes to watch her disappear behind the screens and into the shrine, and then she's gone.

– – –

The Engravers look intimidating to him. There are two of them and they're both blinded, topless, and covered in tattoos like the one he bore before. But the most disturbing aspect are the needles embedded into the flesh of their hands and arms.

Outside of this curtained area, he can hear the handmaidens singing the song that he has come to know so well over his imprisonment.

The 'sacred marks' that he'll bear are the very same tattoos that Reika's touch had inflicted upon him, the ones that she herself had borne in life. And since this is her memory he is reliving, he will experience the same things that she did.

As the Engraver's lean over him, their hands moving over his flesh, he can feel the pain as the Holly is etched onto his skin. He inhales deeply and focuses on the image that he conjures of his lover. His pain might have been dulled, but his love and longing still remain.

“We will begin the Piercing of the Soul.”

– – –

Light realizes that the process of carving the tattoo into his flesh will take several days. After that, he doesn't know what will happen.

On several occasions, the Engraver's will leave him to mix more ink for the tattoo. During those times, Amane will slip into the room and converse with him softly to keep his mind from wandering too far. She answers his questions.

“What will happen next?”

Amane seems to like his hair; she runs her fingers through it often in long, slow strokes, as though he is a pet. It reminds him of what L used to do, but the thought is not accompanied by that white hot ache of before; now it feels distant. It's like it isn't so much of a part of him any more.

But still, it is her way of comforting him and he allows her it.

“Once the Piercing of the Soul is complete, then you must shatter the Mirror of Loss after opening the door to the Last Passage.” Amane's voice is quiet; the other handmaidens are nearby but none of them can see or hear this conversation.

“And then?”

He knows that there's something more, something that she hasn't told him yet.

She glances away, nervous, “Following that is your entombment in the Chamber of Thorns, where the priestess will sleep for all eternity.”

“Is that where she is?” _Will I see him again once there?_

Amane hesitates before she gives a quick nod, “Reika lies there... as does Kaname.”

– – –

The process of having what the Engravers called the Snake and Holly Tattoo carved into him is a slow and painful process. His nights are no longer peaceful and he is plagued with the dreams of loss and pain of all those whose suffering his body now carries.

_How can someone sleep peacefully with so much pain?_

Over him, the Engraver's murmur quietly to themselves. They can see his dreams and they speak of the pain that he feels that is not his own.

To them, it is a good sign; it means that the ritual is successful.

Light isn't sure if he can take anymore; he would gladly take back his own pain instead of having to experience this for an eternity.

– – –

When the tattoos are finished, Light takes them in. Every inch of his body is covered with tattoos and each has its own story to tell. He can feel the pain of the countless worshippers who come to the shrine to be relieved of theirs.

It makes him feel selfless – a feeling that he hasn't known before. But at the same time, he feels like those same worshippers are somewhat selfish. They do not want their pain and instead give it to someone else to bear – it seems unfair that he must give up his own pain to bear theirs.

He wants to see L again. That single thought consumes him.

Reika must have had her reasons for why he is seeing this, and if it is because of their similarities, then he is fine with that.

Light will suffer through this if it means that he can see the one he loves again.

– – –

With the tattoo complete, Light takes the Mirror of Loss as Amane refers to it, and weighs it carefully in his hands. It feels much heavier than he remembers, and the etchings on it speak to him of his personal loss and the pain he has experienced by losing the one he loves.

Did Reika experience this as well? Like him, did her love for Kaname help her?

He doesn't know, but some part buried deep inside of him thinks that she carried that love with her. Light believes that she dreamed of Kaname just as he dreams of L. That thought both comforts him and helps to foster this strange feeling of kinship between himself and the priestess.

Now, though, he must discard his pain in order to proceed.

It feels as though he is losing a part of himself, but it is something that he must do to proceed.

When he places it in its place on the altar, he hears the click of a door unlocking and knows that he must do this; it is the only way.

He shatters the mirror himself.

– – –

The Chamber of Thorns horrifies Light. He thought that after the Kira case, after losing L, after these dreams and the pain of the Holly being etched into his flesh, that there was nothing to surprise him anymore.

What he sees inside of this shrine is nearly enough to make him want to retch.

Everywhere he looks there are priestesses; each of them is covered in the same tattoos as he is, and each of them have stakes running through their hands and feet. They are pinned in place, forever fated to dream of the pain of the Holly.

Near the middle of the chamber is an empty space, and Light knows that it is reserved for him. He is to be pinned down here with the stakes that the handmaidens carry.

This is what Amane feared to tell him; this last rite performed on the priestess.

Light is to be impaled.

– – –

The feeling of the stakes being driven through his limbs is dulled both by the pain of the Holly he is engraved with and by the song that the handmaidens sing. Now Light realizes its significance; it's to keep him from waking, to keep him sleeping for an eternity.

Reika experienced this before him. And now it's his turn.

Once the stakes have impaled him, Light lies there, drifting in some strange state between sleep and wakefulness.

Even though he is numbed to everything around him, Light can still feel Amane's hand running through his hair one last time and he can still hear her words echoing to him.

“Your pain and hers... will become one. Then you will know.”

– – –

The pain of the stakes is dulled by the song that echoes in his ears, as though he is listening to it on repeat. It calms him and makes the rest that much easier to find.

But the stakes still burn and the wounds ache. They just hurt less than the other pain.

With the tattoos, he can feel the loss of countless others, reverberating inside of him. This makes his rest nearly unbearable; he can see their hurt and experience it for himself. Inside of him, their thoughts echo and he dreams of their experiences.

Light feels as though he is slowly losing himself.

Is this what it means to be the Tattooed Priestess?


	6. Nightmare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Words:** 1713 words  
>  **Beta:** [elliott ashes](http://www.fanfiction.net/~elliottashes)  
> 

He feels a great amount of pain, as though his heart has been lit on fire.

In his dream, he's in a village. There's a young girl at his side, probably no older than five or six at most, and they are walking down the street. She smiles at him, calls him a name he doesn't recognize – is he her brother? Her sister? Light doesn't know. This isn't his dream.

There's a loud cry. He turns his head.

He hears a scream, a cry, there's blood.

The little girl isn't moving anymore.

– – –

The pain from the last memory hasn't faded, but Light finds himself in another memory. This one is different.

In his dream, there is a young man lying in the bed near him. His eyes are glassy and unseeing, staring at the ceiling over his head.

Someone is speaking to him; they speak of an illness, of a plague which has swept through the village. But no matter how hard he tries to focus, Light cannot hear what the person is saying. It's as though he's listening to a tape through a cardboard tube.

He just wants to sleep. He doesn't want to dream anymore.

But he knows, it will not end here. The pain which is etched into him is still there, replaying over and over inside of him. He can't escape.

– – –

His dream is different. It is not the same as the ones before.

He recognizes it, this... this is from his memory.

At investigation headquarters, it was often just himself and L, with Watari watching them through various surveillance cameras or running errands for the eccentric detective. Usually, though, they were alone. Misa would rarely come visit them and Light was never anxious to go and see her either.

Misa might have been pretty, but he couldn't feel anything for her behind a tenuous friendship.

But this night is like any other; it is just the two of them, reviewing surveillance footage and various leads that have been trickling in. Most of it isn't anything new, but there might be something useful in there; some clue that might have been overlooked.

L is frustrated; Light can tell by the tense set of his shoulders and back, the way he bites his thumb thoughtfully. If he doesn't stop soon, then he is going to make himself bleed.

Gently, Light reaches out and plucks L's thumb from his mouth. He ignores the dirty look that the other man gives him and instead gives him a small smile.

“Don't hurt yourself, Ryuuzaki.”

– – –

Each dream is different. He can't predict what will be shown to him next.

This time, it's an old manor house; it looks different from the one he's familiar with. It isn't snowing when he sees it, but he's looking up at it and there is an abandoned feel to it. No one has lived here for many, many years.

He feels a sense of trepidation about this place along with a sense of loss and feeling that there's something here that's important to him. But at the same time, this manor... something about it feels evil. It's as though there is something malevolent lurking inside of its walls.

As always, his limbs are not his own. He moves towards the doors, pushing them open and slipping inside.

This doesn't feel like the other memories, the older ones, the ones which Reika had been carved with. Light isn't sure, but is this a recent memory? Does it belong to someone like him who became lost in the manor?

He thinks that it' s the case.

– – –

Out of the corner of his eyes, he keeps seeing someone: a young man. From what little he knows from these fragmented memories, the man is the woman's brother. This memory is the woman's.

She came looking for her brother and became trapped here. In this manor where there is no escape.

The only way out is to wander deeper and deeper inside of it; just like the manor he found himself in. To leave, the mystery has to be solved and the dead put to rest.

That's... that's the only way she can rescue him.

– – –

Inside of this manor is hell. He died because of her, it's her fault. That's what the strange spirit whispers. She is trapped here, this... this priestess. She can't leave.

Why does it have to hurt?

He wants it to stop hurting.

– – –

Overwhelming pain, he's being torn apart... his eyes were gouged out. The pain is carved into the memories of this manor. The girl carried them with her when she escaped.

But he stayed behind. He left her alone to stay with the priestess. She isn't alone anymore.

The pain won't stop though; it burns and it aches inside of him and he just wishes for it to end. It won't stop. The girl... the girl is trapped in this manor of nightmares, following in the brother that she lost.

If the curse ends, then she will be free. She'll have the answers that she seeks.

He plunges deeper into the dream world.

– – –

This time, it's a village. A village where time has stopped.

There's a girl. She wears a bloodied kimono and she laughs; she laughs and laughs and hunts him down. But he can't leave, he's trapped here for as long as the memory holds him.

The pain is much sharper this time. It's hot and tinged with guilt.

 _I'm sorry... this is my fault. I won't leave you behind._ The words are foreign and echo in his ears. It's not his voice, it's a girl. She's young and searching for his sister. Looking for a way out of this village before it can claim both of their lives.

Why is everything so dark? He doesn't want to suffer anymore.

– – –

The butterflies flutter in the air, their wings a brilliant shade of crimson that stands out against the monochrome of the village.

Deeper and deeper into the village; it conceals a dark secret. A twin must be sacrificed. They must die at the hands of the other.

That is how things have always been here; time doesn't stop, it marches on and repeats itself over and over again.

The ritual must be completed.

– – –

It has been done.

She's dead.

It's all her fault.

The pain... it won't go away.

She is a Remaining now.

_It's all her fault._

She killed her. She won't wake up again.

It hurts. The guilt eats at her. It should have been her.

_Why...?_

She didn't deserve to survive.

– – –

This time, it's his memory again. The familiarity and warmth of it calms him, relaxes him. It eases the pain that he feels aching inside of him. Somehow, it feels like he is being eaten from the inside out by this pain inside of him.

It's the room he shares with L at headquarters. The handcuffs don't allow them to sleep apart because the length of the chain is too short.

Light can't remember the last time that he got a proper night's sleep. Ever since he was chained to the detective, he's been up for most of the night. L hardly sleeps and the constant tapping of computer keys keeps Light awake, along with the bright glare of the laptop screen.

This night, though, he's drifting. He's not quite asleep but he isn't awake either.

He can feel the light brush of fingers in his hair; gently running through the strands and straightening them.

It's awfully relaxing...

Light lets his eyes drift closed and he sleeps. He feels at peace.

– – –

_“That moment... always in my eyes... etched in... again and again... it's my fault.”_

This dream is different. It's familiar though. The pain is vivid and burns through him like a wildfire; it latches onto his own and builds on it until it's nearly unbearable.

He wants to claw at his skin to make it stop but he's pinned down. He wants to stop the memory before it can begin but he is helpless. The stakes which hold him down refuse to let him move and the song of the handmaidens weighs heavily upon him, dragging him back down before he can do much more than think to escape.

No, he doesn't want to see this. It hurts too much.

Someone... someone is calling to him. He can just make out the words.

“... Reika...?”

_Light...?_

The Chamber of Thorns slowly comes into focus as he blinks his eyes. He can see the priestesses around him impaled on the walls and floor. The area around him is illuminated by a blue light.

There's a man beside him, kneeling on the ground and leaning over him. For a few seconds, he looks like L; all pale skin, dark hair, and black eyes. But then he realizes that it isn't him; the man has dark hair, yes, but it isn't the right shade. It isn't L.

He wishes it were him. He wants to see him once more.

When the man realizes that he's awake, he gives a soft smile and says, “Reika!”

_Light!_

The relief and happiness in his voice is nearly tangible. His mouth is raised in a soft smile and he seems so happy to see Reika – him? – that it's sweet.

“I'm so happy. In my dreams, I–”

Light sees it, but he can do nothing. His voice will not work.

The hatchet comes down on the back of the man's neck. He falls to the ground with a muffled noise of surprise and shock. His eyes are wide and glassy and stare into Light's.

He can't close his eyes. He doesn't want to see this. It hurts. It feels like he's being torn apart. It hurts. He doesn't want this. This wasn't supposed to happen. He just wanted to see him one more time. _**It hurts.**_ He just wants it to stop. Why does he alone have to feel this? It isn't fair...

_“I don't want to see anymore...”_

This is Reika's pain... it's his pain.


	7. The Abyss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Words:** 1780 words  
>  **Beta:** [elliott ashes](http://www.fanfiction.net/~elliottashes)  
> 

When he wakes up, he's back in the cage. He glances down at his hands. The tattoo he bore is gone and there are no signs of the wounds from his impalement. His confusion doesn't last.

Amane is standing outside of the cage. There is a small smile playing about her lips.

"Reika's pain is yours now."

He was Reika; for those long nights, she and him were the same person. Light doesn't understand completely why this is, but now he knows. Reika wanted to see him one last time, like how he wants to see L. She just wanted to be with him.

She just wants to sleep.

– – –

The path he walks is familiar. He is surprised that Amane is by his side, but he doesn't complain.

Out of the corners of his eyes, he can see the ghostly inhabitants of the manor. All of them hover just out of sight, watching him. When he glances down, he realizes that he's still in the white and blue of the priestess – of Reika.

Is he still dreaming that dream?

He doesn't want to dream it anymore.

– – –

"What happens now?"

Amane glances over at him and gives a little shrug, "I'm not sure."

"That isn't very reassuring."

"Well, this has never happened before," Amane replies. "You have a better idea of what will happen then I do. You have a part of Reika inside of you."

That explains the outfit. Light wonders if maybe he's going to take Reika's place, to let her sleep. But that doesn't make sense with what he knows of the ritual. The priestess may only have rest if she is sent across the rift on a boat.

And he doesn't want to have to experience that pain for an eternity.

– – –

Amane and he go on foot and take the long route instead of using the cage. In front of him, he can see another woman disappearing into the Engraving Shrine. Her clothing is modern; she is as trapped here as he is. But something is different.

He has a good feeling about her.

The Camera Obscura disappeared from his possession a long time ago, before his dreams of Reika's life and her last few days as the priestess. But he finds that he doesn't need it any longer.

In the garb of the priestess and with Amane at his side, they shrink away from him. Light can't tell if they fear what he represents or if there is something going on that he doesn't know. All of the ghosts seem more solid than before and several of them seem... less threatening.

Their expressions are peaceful and free of those horrible twisted expressions he knew before; with faces clear of blood and murderous intent.

They seem to be more at peace than the others that lurk on the edges of his vision. Those are the ones that glare at him with hate in their eyes, who eye him as their next possible victim, but they don't dare approach him.

Light himself feels more relaxed. The weight feels like it has been lifted from his shoulders and although his heart still aches, it doesn't hurt so much now.

He knows what he has to do.

– – –

When they enter the Engraving Shrine, there is no one there. The bodies covered in sheets no longer have needles in them and there is an odd silence hanging over the entire building. Behind them are the ghosts of the manor's inhabitants.

Amane is looking towards a woman who stands to the side. She has beautiful, long, dark hair and looks tired and sad. The woman stares ahead blankly. She looks like a lost child.

"Mother..." Amane whispers. She sounds heartbroken.

For a few seconds, it seems as though Amane is torn between accompanying him and going to her mother. Her eyes seem different and she looks exactly like she is; a young girl who is in way over her head. Amane is a very sweet girl, Light thinks, and he's glad to have her on his side.

Turning to her, Light bent over and gathered the young girl into an embrace.

"Thank you." For the first time in a very long time, he feels like he actually means it.

It doesn't surprise him very much when she returns it.

– – –

Amane has done so much for him that he isn't sure what he could possibly do to repay her. She's dead, though, which puts a damper on any plans he could possibly make. All of this time she has been wandering this manor and the dreams of others, trying to help them survive, and it has left its marks on her.

He can see how it's aged her when he looks into her eyes. The best thing that he could do for her is to help her rest. This nightmare has to end.

Instead of returning to her mother's side, Amane remains with him. She feels that this is her duty and Light knows that there's nothing that he could say to make her change her mind about this. She says she will stay with him until the end, or for as long as she is able.

"She will understand," Amane says as they pull apart. "When this is done, we'll be together again. Her and me and Kaname and Reika – we'll be together again. I know it."

Light wishes that he could have her confidence at this moment. He can only smile at her and hope she doesn't see that flicker of fear in his eyes.

– – –

As they pass through the entrance to the staircase leading down into the Abyss, the Engravers stand on either side of the doorway. Both of them bow their blind faces to them before they step back and seem to fade into the walls.

The staircase that leads down into the Abyss spirals along the sides of the cavern. In front of them is the hanging prison which Light had spent so much time in. The song is stronger here, he can hear it echo from somewhere below them.

Light turns to Amane and is a little surprised to see how pale her face is. It's weird because he also realizes that her body seems to fade away towards her feet, looking as though she's simply floating there beside him.

Like the Engraver's behind them, there is an ashen hue to her face which underlines her state as one of the dead.

Once they come to the bottom of the Abyss, there will be no turning back. This is the end of Light's journey and this is where Amane's hopes and dreams will either come true or fall apart in front of her.

The weight of what he's seen and experienced weighs heavily on Light. He knows that everything will come down to this.

He turns to Amane, "You ready?"

"Yes." She nods as though to emphasize this point. "Let's go."

– – –

The stairs are tricky and very long. Amane says that she and the other handmaidens would take them, along with the head of the family; the priestess is lowered down in the cage. She had offered to help Light use the cage to lower him down into the Abyss, but he felt that the stairs were a better choice.

The cage holds too many bad memories.

As the two of them proceed down, Light has to use the wall to steady himself while Amane floats along beside him. It's a little unnerving, because he can see the other handmaidens swirling around in the air nearby.

Minamo whispers softly, asking if she is going to be impaling a new priestess soon. Shigure and Hisame say nothing but continue to sing their song in their soft voices.

The entire area is illuminated with a pale blue light.

– – –

Reika's memories inside of him are both hazy and vivid. He glances around the Abyss as he makes his way downwards, a few more trickle through.

The reason he doesn't want to enter the cage or use it is because a quick memory flashes before his eyes.

If he closes his eyes for a moment, he can see the man from his – Reika's – dreams reaching towards him. He reaches out for him, but their fingers just miss as he is lowered down into the Abyss.

It is Reika's dream. It was what she longed for so strongly, to see him one last time.

– – –

When they reach the bottom of the stairs, Light looks around. It isn't a particularly interesting sight; the walls are roughly hewn from the rock and the entire area is rather small and lit with a soft blue light.

"It's a purifying light," Amane explains. "It keeps the miasma which spills out from the Abyss from affecting us."

It explains the strange light and why the air feels heavy but isn't having an effect on him; Amane, he supposes, would be immune to it anyway.

The lanterns and candles flicker; everything seems to be in a strange monochrome.

But the blood which stains the stone floor is a vivid shade of red and it stands out, catching his attention. For a few seconds, he can see Amane there, impaled to the ground much like he was within the Chamber of Thorns.

He looks to her, seeing a distant but bittersweet smile on her lips. She glances up at him, "I died here, as punishment for breaking the code."

It seems far too harsh to him, but he supposes that she came from a different time. The code had probably remained unchanged for many hundreds of years and the punishments wouldn't have changed within that time either.

"The others were impaled too." Amane walks slowly forward, glancing down at the bloodstain which is all that remains of her physical form. "To seal the Rift and keep the Unleashing from spreading."

Light nods. They can only go forward.

– – –

Beyond the Abyss, the Last Passage continues. They cross over a wooden bridge, continuing on towards the Chamber of Thorns.

Over the water, he can see images of people, those who have died and are waiting to cross over. In a few places, he thinks that he can recognize a couple of the faces. But their forms are so indistinct and blurry that he can't be positive.

Amane is a comforting presence at his side. He draws courage from that.


	8. Eternal Rest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Words:** 1628 words  
>  **Beta:** [elliott ashes](http://fanfiction.net/~elliot_ashes)  
> 

Amane doesn't enter the Chamber of Thorns with him; she remains outside. She seems to be gradually fading away.

“It's time. Go.” She smiles at him, “I am happy to have met you, Light. Thank you.”

He has to return the smile, this is the last time that he will see her. “I feel the same.”

When he enters the chamber, he doesn't look back. There is something inside beckoning to him, and he knows that there will be no return. He doesn't mind.

– – –

Inside the Chamber of Thorns, the sights are familiar. He can see the priestesses impaled on the floors and walls, their eyes glassy and unseeing – like mirrors. All of them dream their dreams of pain with a blank look upon their faces. Each of them rests as peacefully as can be expected; they had no regrets or wishes as Reika did. As he does.

Now, though, there's something new here.

He's here. Light can see him. He's disappearing through a passage from the chamber.

“Ryuuzaki!” Even though he can't reach, Light reaches out to him and runs after him. He has to reach him, he needs to.

– – –

Beyond the Chamber of Thorns is a beach and an ocean of dark water stretching out as far as the eye can see. On its surface float several lanterns. Light can see several shadowy figures disappearing into the fog on the far horizon of the water.

On the edge of the beach, is L.

Much like Amane, his legs seem to fade away, but he's standing up to his ankles in the dark water and that impression might just be an illusion. He looks solid; he looks **_alive_**.

That's all that matters.

He doesn't know what to say, though. So they just stand there for what seems like an eternity, staring at each other. L's dark eyes watch him with a soft sort of acceptance; and although they look empty, Light can see the warmth in them, the affection and love.

Inside of his chest, it feels as though his heart might burst. It is this which he has missed the most.

“I never thought you would come here.”

Light swallows, “I followed you.”

A slight frown mars the other's lips and he raises his thumb to his lips. He's thinking this over, it makes Light's heart thud in his chest and fills him with warmth. Everything is rushing back to him now with a startling clarity.

“I wasn't sure if you would.”

– – –

Light isn't sure how much time they have here, but he knows that the other world lies just across the body of water. He'll take whatever time he's given.

The two of them are lying in the sand. L's feet are still in the water and Light's head rests near his, looking into the other's dark eyes. He's ignoring the fact that he's still in the clothes of the priestess, but he knows that it hasn't escaped L's notice.

“I wasn't aware that you were a priestess of any kind, Raito-kun.” L is resorting to his rather affectionate name for Light. It's a good sign. “Did something happen when I wasn't paying attention?”

Light gives him a small smile and shakes his head, “It's not important.”

“Raito-kun is being evasive. Should I be worried?” There's a smile playing at the corners of L's lips, and Light can't help but take in every feature of the other's face; he commits all of it to memory.

“I don't think so. It's sort of a complicated story, I don't think that I'd be able to explain it properly.”

It's true; Light doesn't really understand his connection to Reika himself. Amane said that he held a part of her inside of him, he now knows and understands her pain and the pain of countless others.

He thinks he understands it now, what he's supposed to do. And he's fine with it. In fact, he feels a strange sense of peace about the entire thing.

L is with him. He doesn't feel afraid anymore. The pain is gone now.

– – –

“Why did you follow me?”

Light frowns, “Because I was dreaming of you.”

“Does Raito-kun know where we are?”

“You don't?” He's a little surprised, he would have thought that L would have some idea of where we are. After all, he's just as surely here as Light is. But then again, even Light isn't completely sure of exactly where they are.

“I know that if we cross this sea, there will be no turning back. I know I'm dead. But you're not Raito-kun, you can still return.”

“I don't want to.” _It's too late for me... I know what my fate is._

– – –

He's holding L's hand in his, they're both still lying in the sand. Light has no idea how much time has passed them by, but it doesn't matter. It's been so long since he's seen the other that he just never wants this moment to end.

L's skin feels cool, but it's undeniably solid and real.

“Raito-kun?”

“Hm?”

“Why did you dream of me?”

He sounds genuinely confused. Light can't help but smile; he manages to plant a short kiss on the other's nose, stifling a grin when L's eyes crosses to watch. It's far too cute and it's such an L gesture.

“I wanted to see you again,” Light replies softly. “Even if it was just for a few moments.”

“You are a very interesting individual, Raito-kun.”

Light can't help but smile, “Thanks.”

They fall into silence for a few more moments. Each weighing their thoughts carefully before they speak again.

It's Light who breaks the silence.

“Did it hurt?”

“Yes.” The detective pauses before he continues, “But it was more shock than it was pain. I knew that there was a very real risk that this case would take my life, but I suppose that you're never fully prepared for your own death.”

Light says nothing to that. He's been prepared for his own death for a while now.

“I'm not letting you cross alone.” He knows he's caught the other by surprise, just by the fractional widening of his eyes. But his mind is made up, he will not change it now. This is what he wants and what he must do. It has become his duty as much as it was Reika's.

“Take me with you.”

– – –

L helps him to his feet. It's slightly surprising to Light that the sand doesn't stick to his clothes or his hair. The other's hands are cool against his, and pale.

He isn't too surprised when the tattoos reappear, swirling up his arms in their elegant designs and patterns. It's a pattern which he alone knows. The tattoos crawl across his chest and back with a slight itching sensation – it isn't uncomfortable or painful – and stretching up to cover his neck. Branches of the holly curl around his jaw, but his face remains clear of the markings.

This tattoo embodies his pain and loss and that of Reika's. He will carry it with him to the other side.

The last of the pain carved into this manor is his to bear away from it.

– – –

The two of them have entwined their fingers together as they stand in the shallows of the waters. It's cool against Light's skin, soaking easily through the dark blue fabric of the hakama. He doesn't shiver, though, and looks forward to what awaits him.

L seems unaffected by the water, standing at Light's side in his typical hunched posture; the hand which isn't holding Light's is tucked away at his side.

Around them are several shadowy figures making their way towards the distant fog-covered shore.

Several lanterns float past them, casting a warm golden light on the water as they do. Light watches them pass with an unreadable expression on his face.

He's ready. It's time.

L gives his hand a gentle squeeze, his eyes also looking forward.

“Are you ready Rait0-kun?”

He nods. “Let's go.” _Together._

– – –

Sayu has not moved from her brother's side for many days. For several days, he'd been hospitalized as his parents were worried for his health and hoped that they would give them answers. They gave them nothing. It was Sayu who insisted on bringing him home.

_“If he's going to... to die, then let him die at home. With us.”_

Light has not woken in days – weeks, actually. Both of their parents still hope and pray that he will wake up, but Sayu knows better. Light isn't going to wake up.

Her hands fist together in her lap. He looks so peaceful and innocent as he sleeps, breath rising and falling in rhythm. Sayu wonders who it is that he dreamt of, who it is who lured him deeper and deeper into the Manor of Sleep.

Light has never looked so peaceful. This is how she wishes to remember him.

– – –

Light passes away two days later.

Sayu promises to herself that she will honor his memory, that she will hold him in her heart and remember him for as long as she lives.

So long as she is alive, he will live on inside of her.

All she knows, is that he looked so happy, so at peace. She can only assume that he wanted it to end this way.

She loves him. She only knows that someone loves him more.

**FIN.**

I'd like to pay a huge thank you to my good friend and beta, elliot ashes, for her help with this fic. You have no idea how much I appreciated it! Thanks so much!

Next, a great big thank you to all of my readers who followed this fic from start to end and have dropped me comments and reviews every now and then to encourage me on and just to let me know that they enjoyed it. Thanks so much!

Lastly, if anyone does have any questions about the fic, feel free to drop me a line! I'll answer your question as best I can.

Thank you so much everyone!

Twilight.


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